How to Develop Good Qualities in Children through Effective Discipline Education

Jul 26, 2024

Discipline is taught to children in order to develop in them self-control and noble qualities such as honesty, respect, obedience, responsibility, sensitivity and morality. Through sound guidance, encouragement and correction, parents can help their children towards proper behavior. Encouragement should be given more than correction in a loving upbringing in order to build a healthy parent-child relationship. In this paper, we will discuss how to effectively teach discipline to children of different ages through specific methods and strategies to help them form good behavioral habits as they grow up.

To build a healthy parent-child relationship, expressing love

is the most important thing, whether through behavior or words.

Discipline Methods

Always encourage the child's correct behavior with words and actions. When inappropriate behavior is observed, first determine the child's intention or motivation:

1. If it is accidental: Forgive and teach.
2. If it is innocent: Express disapproval and teach.
3. If it is deliberate disobedience: Express disapproval, teach, and apply punishment to correct.

Less than 1 Year of Age

1. Show love and care through daily hugs, kisses, games, singing, and talking. Children of any age need positive expressions of love from parents to build healthy relationships.

2. Reasonably safeguard the child's safety. Move fragile items out of reach, lock cabinet doors, hide electrical cords, and use safety covers on outlets. If possible, remove irresistible temptations.

3. When misbehavior occurs, use distraction and redirection. Brightly colored toys or items can shift the child's attention from forbidden items or areas.

4. Repeatedly remove the child from the scene of misbehavior and say, "No, no." Express your approval when the child complies.

12 months to 18 months of age

1. Encourage children whenever they achieve new developmental milestones.

2. Establish clear rules and frequently praise good behavior.

3. When misbehavior occurs, express disapproval and firmly say "No" with eye contact. Provide a brief and simple explanation.

4. If the child persists in misbehavior after a clear warning, gently pat their hand and repeat "No."

5. Always be careful to distinguish between deliberate disobedience and the child's irresponsibility or innocent curiosity. Punish only clear disobedience.

18 months to 3 1/2 years of age 

1. Express love through active play (wrestling, tumbling, and chasing) and often say "I love you." Spend one-on-one time together, such as going on a Saturday breakfast "date," flying kites, or just walking.

2. Generously encourage correct and obedient behavior through verbal praise ("I'm proud of that big girl") and occasional rewards, such as new privileges or special activities like a trip to the park.

3. Spend time together as a family, especially eating meals at home. This fosters family communication, allows parents to model positive behavior, and can encourage good eating habits as the child sees you eat vegetables.

4. Begin giving age-appropriate choices, such as which outfit to wear or which toy to take in the car. Limit choices to two or three to avoid frustration.

5. Begin reasoning with the child about misbehavior. Briefly explain why the behavior is wrong and should not be repeated. Briefly explain the negative impact of such behavior on the child and others, such as biting and hitting.

6. Ensure your rules and expectations align with the child's maturity level. For example, a two-year-old will find it hard to sit still, walk slowly, and stay quiet for long periods.

7. Anticipate challenging situations and remind the child of your expectations. For example, before entering a store, tell the child where you're going and warn them of the consequences of misbehavior or tantrums.

8. Use time-outs for disobedience. Escort your child to a boring, unstimulating place like the hallway or a corner of the living room. Set a kitchen timer for a specific period (one minute per year of age), and have them sit there until you return. After the time is up, give a hug, review the misbehavior, and repair the relationship. Use the same location for time-outs consistently. For example, when a two-year-old acts up at the dinner table, remove her from the high chair and place her in time-out for two minutes until she calms down and cooperates. When a three-year-old plays selfishly with siblings, send her to time-out for three minutes until she calms down.

9. Ignore mild tantrums and whining. Unless the behavior becomes destructive or disrespectful, do not become an audience. If a tantrum lasts more than a few minutes, send the child to their room until they can behave appropriately. If a tantrum becomes destructive or disrespectful, further punishment like spanking may be needed to correct the behavior. Distinguish between tantrums due to frustration (help the child) and rebellious tantrums (ignore the child). Do not reinforce or reward whining through parental hesitation or inconsistency. Allowing whining requests to change your initial decision will teach your child to try whining again the next time they disagree.

10. Allow natural consequences to correct misbehavior. For example, when parents are not paying attention, the child disobediently climbs on the coffee table and falls. The child plays roughly with the cat and gets scratched. The child disobediently runs away from the parents and falls, scraping their knee. These events do not require punishment; the unpleasant result of naughty behavior usually corrects the behavior. Use these opportunities to teach principles of safety and obedience.

11. For persistent disobedience and non-compliance with lighter punishments like time-out, spanking may be necessary. When your child clearly understands the consequences of rule-breaking, and lighter punishments fail, spanking may be needed. Follow a planned procedure for all spankings.

18 months to 3 1/2 years of age 

1. Be a good parental role model. Be consistent in word and deed. Practice honesty in your actions. Spend one-on-one time with your child. Plan breakfast dates, go to the park or zoo, and run errands together. Read stories before bed, briefly review the day's highlights, and pray together.

2. Begin assigning age-appropriate chores to cultivate a sense of responsibility and diligence in your child. Consider implementing an allowance system after age five.

3. Explain your reasons for correction each time misbehavior occurs.

4. For disobedience, restrict privileges or remove toys. For example, when a child disobediently leaves the yard to play with neighbors, they are forbidden from visiting friends' houses for two days. When the child refuses to prepare for bed at night, TV privileges are canceled the next day.

5. Allow natural consequences to teach. Refer to examples from previous age groups.

6. Use logical consequences to teach disobedience. For example, when the child's gum gets stuck on the car seat or in their hair, gum-chewing privileges are canceled for two days. When the child refuses to clean up toys after playing, the toys are put away for two days.

7. Use time-outs for misbehavior. Refer to examples from previous age groups.

8. For persistent disobedience or provocative disrespect, corporal punishment may be used. Refer to examples of spanking.

9. Be consistent in your correction and punishment!

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